My father was an advocate (for all who are unfamiliar with the word advocate it means attorney) and a fiery one at that! He practiced as an advocate in the Supreme Court of India and worked through fascinating times as India was growing up and was all set to become glowing.
As a child I have seen him passionately take sides and argue vehemently for the side he chose and the side was always the one he felt in his heart to be the right one. While being worried about his seriousness and his stubborn arguments, I have always silently admired him those days. I have grown up to become very similar in thinking and through my life took a side, the one that my heart said was right and went for it. Seeing this trait I have often got selected for leadership roles such as the Head Girl in school and some managerial responsibilities at work. I still do take sides but in a more subtle way but when I see a wrong being done, I speak out, whether its at home or at work. All that has changed from my younger days to now, is the way I go about it and now I do it in a more pleasant manner.
During the period of emergency in India, my father strongly supported the constitutional rights of the people of India and was an active volunteer who spoke up and spoke against the government and he stood to loose personally and professionally for that. I am so proud of him as I think of that period in time. Again, during the 1984 riots in northern India my father took to helping the unfortunate in our neighborhood who were troubled and tried to get the agencies to work to protect them from the unruly troublemakers. Was he successful? Maybe not but his spirit of not worrying about himself and going out during a curfew to protect others and make sure others are well talks a lot for him. I think I also have a strong sense of social justice.
My father always told his clients what the possible outcome could be. As I grew older I used to wonder why he would tell a client that the case or matter at hand does not have much merit and that there is more of a chance of losing than winning. Much later I understood that it is about being open and candid about the outcome and despite the negative aspects its important to state it. Many a criminal and civil cases have been handled by my father after the client is told of the possible outcome. In this regard I think I am brutally frank specially when it comes to work and / or providing feedback or stating my views at home. This has got me into trouble many times because the person receiving this feedback or views is not ready for such responses. Me and my mother have such conversations (I suppose she is equally firm in her views and opinions!!) and end up with major disagreements till we agree to disagree. These are much avoidable situations but the conversation are full of learning for me.
Which advocate first tells their client to compromise and come to an agreement and resolve the dispute rather than fight it out. Knowing the hassles of a long drawn legal dispute, his advice to many new litigants would be to resolve the issue. I try that a lot in my personal and work situations where I try and help by understanding the issue and then help to solve for the problem rather than have it fester. Many adjustments have been made at home to come to a solution to a situation…..I still state my views!
I have learnt from my father to be compassionate about people and their situations. He used to handle criminal and civil cases and used to say that we do not have any right to judge anyone who we feel has done something wrong or done what is outside of the normal norm because we do not know what they are going through or went through. He would say, once they come to him it is his to help them in every possible way he can, with empathy and compassion. I suppose thats why the Greek statue for justice is blindfolded, treat everyone the same. I was extremely judgemental as a young person, but with life experience I have leant to be more patient and less judging of people and situations.
I am thankful I had my father as my father …… without him I would not have been the person I am today
Little Drops of Memories 