Que Sera Sera, ….

Whatever will be, will be, ……. Easier said than done, even though the song goes on to say that the future is not our’s to see. It has indeed been a challenge for me to not wonder, more correctly, worry about my future, near and distant. From tomorrow, to next week, to next month, next year and so on. Sometimes I go so much into the future and worry that I myself have to consciously stop myself and when I stop these thoughts, I take a deep breath and come back to the present. The same is also true about feeling sad, or angry or hurt about a situation from the past or some action by a person in my past. Those very feelings about the situation or person colours me even today and that I am aware can be harmful to me and others I live, love and work with. So how do I cope with this anxiety from the past and future? My past can creep up on me suddenly and when I least expect it. I get anxious and stressed about what will happen in my future. My logical and rational mind tells me that i have no control on my future and that my worrying will not change the course of my future but i worry because its a habit. When I worry I feel I have control of my future. Between angst about the past and anxiety about the future, I was not living the moment. I still feel I have to enjoy a lot more in life. I now have a zest for life How do I help myself? For me it was all about letting go of my past, forgiving people who I thought had hurt me and again, cliched as it may sound, forgiveness does not mean forgetting, it just helped me get over them. It also meant having to learn to be “here and now”, something one of my managers from the yesteryears used to tell us everyday. I learnt to live one day at a time very slowly and it was not an easy road. I needed to change the way I think which led to a change in the way I feel and so i changed my behaviour. Not only is this a relief for me but for those who I live, love and work with!! I am happy to help anyone on similar difficulties in life.