An Ammamman, who was Unniettan for all

Waving his hand through a hatch on the roof of his car, a Volkswagen Beatle, and a smiling face, driving away from my uncle’s home in Barakhamba Road is my first memory of Unniettan.  He was full of life, full of laughter and towards the end he laughed at his illness for quite a long time.  How I wish, he could have laughed away his illness and be with us still.

I was in awe of him and his dear wife, Shirley aunty and my calling her Shirley aunty amused him because he said that obviously he looked younger than her.  His wit and his ability to laugh at the smallest of incidents is something that I could have learnt a lot from because I realise that it helps us get over any sadness or madness in life.  His home near Khan Market was spic and span and even today the fragrance of Sambrani reminds me of his home and Shirley aunty walking through the rooms with a holder of smoking incense.  Then and now she is ever graceful, elegant and we have a lot to learn from her demeanour, her profession that is her passion.

As we became teenagers, Unniettan slowly introduced us to what are called dirty jokes and more than the jokes itself, it is the way he approached the incident and converted it to a funny situation that always caught me attention.  My grandmother, Ammumma, was not always thrilled at the prospect of us children hovering around him lest he taint our minds with his jokes.  Little did she know that we were rather informed and that we could manage all the jokes maturely!!  I grew up hearing stories of childhood from my mother and grandmother.  What I remember more his narrations of how he asked Chandrammaman to sing for my aunt, Indirammai when he went to meet her, and he actually sang.  According to Unniettan’s version, Chandrammaman sang an old malayalam romantic film song “Sankhapushpam kanezhuthumpol Sakuntale Ninne orma varum” meaning “When the shankhapushpam flower lines its eyes with kohl, I remember you Shankuntala”.  Till that point it is all fine, till Unniettan starts shaking with laughter saying who would take him seriously and sing a song!!  We would all be then laughing till tears roll down our eyes.

We did not meet him for ages and then suddenly we would meet at a family get together,  and then it was a riot.  Engagements, marriages, family dinners were never complete without him and his witty humour and laughter.  When my father was bed ridden he starts coming home once in a while and would regale everyone with his anecdotes, it brought us relief in the midst of our pain.  That was the time that our darling Veda came into our lives and the little moments Shirley aunty spent with her are precious for me though I do not know if Veda will remember those.  She also recommended Windows in NOIDA as a play school for Veda and it was one of the best decisions in our lives because she was so happy and well cared for there.  Thank You, Shirley aunty.

We then moved to Bangalore and occasionally we would meet Unniettan at Hariettan’s home and once at his daughter and my cousin Ammu’s home.  In small ways I knew there was a thread connecting us.  God help us when Unniettan and Hariettan come together, they can put an entire tribe of standing up comedians to shame.  Such was their ability to imagine, create and narrate.

Unniettan was a journalist by profession and has many books authored by him, of which i have read 2, The Unspoken Curse and The Village before time.  I have thoroughly enjoyed reading them because it gave me a glimpse into my family history and made me feel closer to those grand aunts and uncles of whom I have heard but not seen or met.

He passed away a year after my father, in 2005.  It was a sad day for me and my mother.  I remember we got the news when we were travelling back from Guruvayur to Bangalore.  He may no longer be here with us, but he is here in spirit and lives on in my memories.  As i fight anxiety and depression I think the biggest gift he left for me was to know that we can laugh and we can see the humour in all situations around us.  That laughter heals us.